Do you not see enough of me...

I spend plenty of my time inside my doctors surgery yet somehow sometimes this happens 

Seriously again ??????? 

Ok so when I picked this repeat up I noticed a sign that says the surgery now has an online appointment booking system! I thought this was going to be the answer to all of my problems, which incase you don't experience these ( but I'm sure that you do, I think there's a school these people go to, to qualify in patronising sarcasm) these are mine: 

1. Automated phone systems - that don't work 

2. Getting to speak to a person is like walking through a wall 

3. Please hold the line - long wait 

4. Rude people

5. Not Thursday's and as Early as possible, doesn't mean Thursday at 3.30pm will be acceptable

Great so I get online, grab my diary, work schedule a pen etc and think I'm onto a winner, punch in the web address for my surgery, go to the booking area and I'm hit with this: 

So to make my appointment online I need to phone the surgery to retrieve a password. This means I'll go through to the automated system, wait a while, jump through some walls waiting for a receptionist, wait some more, get a speech about why I don't need to use the online system now I'm on the phone and probably get offered an appointment on a Thursday at 3.30pm. When I'll revert to getting angry trying to work the automated system. 

As you can tell my morning will be fun ! I might attempt to ask the desk when I'm in for the appointment I hope to make for a password whilst I'm there! Chance my luck! 

All pictures have been cropped and blurred to protect my personal details and my surgery identity. 

So my goodies Arrived

Holland and Barrett 

So my goodies have arrived slightly more in volume than previously purchased so these have been going a while! 

Plamil dairy free chocolate £1.15 45g 

Plamil dairy free alternative to mint chocolate £2.29 100g 

Celtic chocolates free from fine dark chocolate bar £0.85  unsure of size. 

Ok so let's start on price all seemed fairly reasonable for the size of each bar, they did have buy one get one half price on when I ordered them so the prices I paid where less than above but I would happily pay the full price for these items. 

First up Plamil dairy free - this was a very yummy bar , in fact I could demolish this in one sitting if I really wanted, the loft silky texture and chocolately scent had me over excited before I could even get it out the packet towards the end of the bar. Definatley the closets to milk chocolate substitute I've tried so far.  New favourite ! 

Mint chocolate - the texture of this one took some work I'm a but on thr picky side when it comes to the texture of food including my beloved chocolate. So this was a little different I put felt very sugary in your mouth. Although it didn't taste it, I wonder if it's to do with the way it is produced. The other thing that stood out on this for me was the mint, was peppermint oil, so quite strong in taste. It was a nice treat and good to try something with some flavour in. 

Last but not least was the fine dark chocolate- once taken out of the packet this could pass of as either of the ones I've tried so far from the supermarkets, it looked identical and had the same smell. I was in fact different to taste. It tasted more like a rich dark chocolate, I'd say like a high cocoa percentage. As I think you've probably all gathered by now I'm not a massive fan of dark chocolate. 

Might pay a visit to Holland and Barrats shop see what else they can offer! 

Another week another chocolate

Ok so due to some personal reasons, lack of Internet connection and me being poorly blogs have seemed to disappear again recently so here's some more I've written recently, oh yes I'm still expłoring dairy free chocolate and reviewing it for any one interested.

Tesco free from , this week I did my shopping in Tesco and was surprised at the variety available, I did manage to control my urge to buy everything and settled for four things because I want to be able to make comparisons to the items I trialed last week. Most exciting for me was the fact there was a white chocolate substitute! 

All of the items are in my picture, first taster was the White buttons obviously. Unlike the price variation in Morrisons all of these where £0.45 each. 

The White buttons - these where ok, they remind me very much of the old fashioned white mice I had as a child from the penny sweet shop in my pic and mix. I'm not sure I'd rush out and buy more but they did the job and sorted my chocolate fix, I've always loved white chocolate but you do have to go a long way to get the consistency right for me, Milkybar has it spot on and not many others have the lovely creaminess that it does so I guess that's even harder to achieve with dairy free. They where as the picture shows a little on the yellow side.

Both the chocolate bar and buttons are very much the same taste wise as each other just shaped differently, they also look very similar equally to the versions I brought from Morrisons last week. However I do prefer the Tesco ones for taste they had a smoother texture and tasted a little less dark  than the others I've tried. Thumbs up Tesco. 

What do they say save the best till last, boy did I get that right! The Crispie bar is by far the best I've had so far, imagine rice crispies in chocolate (heaven right) yes they've done it.  Top of my list and definatley one I'll be buying plenty of ! 

That's it from me for now, I've just but in an order at Holland & Barrett and purchased a few dairy free goodies, mainly so I got free postage but I will be writing on them so watch this space !! 

Living dairy free...

Ok so as you may already know from previous posts, dairy is a trigger for my asthma. It started out as being able to tolerate a small amount but now any amount is a no go! 

I switched most things easily, I hate cheese, so no issues there and  I've never been a fan of butter so that was just cut straight out, I switched to soya milk although I think I now prefer almond milk but either make a good substitute for the real thing. I punched on with yoghurt a bit longer but now there soya alternatives too. 

So how does a chocoholic give up chocolate you ask? With greatest difficulty I assure you! I've fought holding onto it for so long but it has had to go, I did manage to try these before hand though. Any chocolate lovers out there will probably already know how amazing they are especially me being a white chocolate lover.  If you haven't tried them your missing out!! 

Ok so the switch has been made and I thought I'd take the time to review some products for anyone out there who's interested. This week is the turn of Morrisons. There free from range says they are milk free this is as close to dairy free ad they produce.  Here's what I brought : 

M Chococy Buttons £0.40p , M Choccy bar £0.45p and M Choccy orange bar £0.75p. 

Off course before I'd even made it back to the car I had sampled the buttons 

I've had a small taste of them all so as I can write this post. So here's what I though: 

Buttons - these where nice, obviously not the real thing, they lacked the silky feel of chocolate, and obviously as there is no milk they are very close to a dark chocolate. I don't mind dark chocolate but it's not my favourite. I enjoyed the buttons and they come in a nice small treat size packet which are ideal and especially at £0.40p I'd buy these again.

Choccy bar - this is again a also good alternative and a little like opening a bar of dark. It did melt a little an your mouth, and was very similar to the taste if the buttons. I'm hoping the rest of the bar will be as good for a small £0.45p 

Choccy orange bar - this had a similar texture and look to the Choccy bar but was most disappointed with the taste. I was hoping that the orange would sweeten the bar slightly so it didn't taste so much like dark chocolate but it didn't the orange is almost to artificial tasting. Nothing like a Terry's chocolate orange! I'd give it full marks for smell as the orange smelt beautiful just didn't taste so nice! I wouldn't buy this again as it was a disappointment In general and came in well above the previous Choccy bar at £0.75. So for an extra £0.30p I got some orange flavouring which was not as good as it smelt! Not sure if I'm going to continue this bar either and that's saying something for a chocoholic ! 

In summary my favourite was the Choccy buttons. 

Hopefully I'll have some different ones to review next week. Next supermarket... 

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

Invisible Ilness Awareness Week ( 8th - 14th September 2014 )

To mark this, I've below answered 30 questions on my condition to hopefully help raise awareness and better understanding. Asthma kills. 

1. The illness I live with is: Asthma - Asthma is a condition that affects the airways - the small tubes that carry air in and out of the lungs. When a person with asthma comes into contact with an asthma trigger, the muscles around the walls of the airways tighten and the airways become narrower. The lining of the airways becomes red and swollen and often sticky mucus or phlegm is produced. All these reactions cause the airways to become narrower and irritated - leading to the symptoms of asthma.



2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:  1998 (aged 6)

3. But I had symptoms since:  1994 (aged 2)

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is:  Learning to accept what I can and can't do, when enough is enough. Sometimes I've the fight but no strength.

5. Most people assume: "That it's just Asthma" - Asthma kills 3 people everyday. Many of these deaths could of been prevented, see my previous post on the NRAD. 

6. The hardest part about mornings are:  Getting up, when you've been up all night symptomatic, you just want to sleeps and breathe. Not much to ask surely! 

7. My favorite medical TV show is: Casualty!!! 

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: I'm not a massive techno gadget person, I could live without them but that said my kindle is amazing I can read anywhere and everywhere, always got a book to hand. Apps I can download to help with managing my condition and medication. 

9. The hardest part about nights are:  Lying down increases my Shortness Of Breath (SOB) so even getting in bed creates problems when I'm having a flareup. There's also being woken by symptoms and not getting deserved sleep. -I love sleep! 

10. Each day I take : Inhalers and tablets. ( I won't turn this into a Med essay)  

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: Haven't really tried any, theres so much conflicting opinion and no proven results as far as I'm aware.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Invisible.

13. Regarding working and career: I had to make adjustments in my last job as I was quite physical, my current job doesn't affect my condition.  There are careers out there if I wanted to peruse I wouldn't be able to because of the effects of my condition, there are also jobs who simply won't allow someone with my condition.

14. People would be surprised to know: Not everyone with asthma wheezes -yes it's true! Sometimes it can be very dangerous doctors who don't hear a wheeze can assume your not in danger yet there can be so little air entry there is no sound and others just don't wheeze. 

15. The hardest thing to accept about my illness is: Accepting what someone people see as normal simple life tasks can I fact be very difficult. On a bad day stairs can be a nightmare.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was:  Tricky one I'm not sure I've ever thought about this I have the attitude that I will do everything I can, that I want to do and it's safe to do, it might just take me longer and need adapting. 

17. The commercials/adverts about my illness:  There isn't any, I feel this lack of awareness leads to a negative stereotype.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: I've had it so long I've not had a chance to miss anything really, but if i had the chance to be a normal kid I'd love to run round the playground and take part in games & PE etc properly without people judging me for always sitting out in class. I'd also love to go back in time and tell the bully's that it's not my fault, and what happened as a result of there bullying was dangerous and could of been the end. 

19. It was really hard to have to give up; Dairy , this really upsets my chest but as you will know from my posts chocolate Its my nemesis , I also love ice cream but it hates me. Still the world of free from and substitutes has come a long way. Only real chocolate solves cravings for chocolate though! 

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is:  As I've previously mentioned I've lived with asthma most of my life , so I guess here where I say if I wasn't me I wouldn't do the things in life I've done. 

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Love to run, seriously what I'd give to be able to run! Crazy right??!! 

22. My illness has taught me: To grab life by the the horns and enjoy every minute, life is precious and no one can't anticipate where it's going, make memories and do everything you can, you want. 

23. Want to know a secret? It's not secret by now but It makes me very cross when people say it's just asthma, this is what I thought some many years ago , ITS NOT. 

24. But I love it when people:  Are considerate, take my condition seriously remember my triggers and make me smile when I'm down. 

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "What doesn't  kill you makes you stronger" (song , Kelly Clarkson) meaning everyday you fight more for the next. 

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: It will be hard, but it will be ok. I tell them that they know their bodies best, they need to be their own advocate fight for what you need, fight for what you deserve. 

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:  Other peoples ignorance. 

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: To supply me with a goody bag of feel good items! Very sweet!

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Awarness week because: it promotes awareness and support for people living with illness. Considering there are 5.4 million people in the UK with asthma, it is not portrayed well, there as so many different degrees of severity, yet "It's just Asthma"

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: like I've achieved something, and hopefully you'll go away knowing something you didn't about asthma when you started. 

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

I've been nominated by three of my lovely friends and family to complete the challenge,  whilst i completely support the fact that this is an absolutely amazing awareness and fundraising campaign and I'll be honest I'm very supportive of charities and the fantastic work they do to support people, I will not be taking on the challenge.  I have to put my own health first and this is far to risky for me, In the photo below you'll see the advise given to asthma suffers. I know for me this is a trigger that could cause an attack, a risk I'm not willing to take. Having an asthma attack actually feels similar to the ice bucket, it's the panic as you struggle to breathe, speak, try to get help. The fear that every breath you struggle to take could be the last. 

So instead I have made a donation to MND (the UK name for ALS )via a just giving page of a friend who is also fundraising for them this year. I've also donated to Cancer research this month via a friends page who is walking a marathon for them next month. Finally I have also donated to Asthma UK using the above details, they are an amazing charity who provide support to the 5.4 million people in the UK that live with Asthma. 

To read, to speak, to be

I've been thinking over the past week about books, I love Reading means so much to me. It's been something I've always had a passion for, and always been able to do. I believe everyone should be taught to read. 

I realised reading can be a means to an end, a problem solver, but almost always still a passion. I read all the time, my kindle has been one of the best presents I have had ! In enables me to always carry around a supply of books for when I need them. ( I still love to read a proper book too)

When do I turn to a book, when I need to relax, de-stess, chill out, calm down, when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when I'm ill and when I'm happy of course. Being able to read is something I couldn't live without whatever situation I find myself in I can pick up a book and loose myself in it, forget the outside world it's just me and the story. 

So your thinking why babble on about reading....

Because I feel you should know although I'm a happy reader I could easily digest a good book in a day or two, reading doesn't do everything. Teachers always told me at school learning to read was the best thing you could wish for because it would set you up for life, it would give you the ability to not only read, but to write, to spell, to imagine, to listen and to speak.

And that is where I feel the lie lays. Speech. How does a book teach you speech, there is so much more to speech than interpretation and pronunciation. To speak you need a voice, confidence and coordination. There's being able to speak and there's choosing to speak.

I can speak, I can speak well, but sometimes I choose not to. For me silence can be greater that words. Sometime under pressure or in new situations I find I'm lost for what to say or how to speak, give me the confidence to find my words and you'll find me, a little support I'd all some people need. 

It all comes down to not judging a book by it's cover...  The person inside might not be who you imagine, 

Time to Talk - Complacency

May 6th - World Asthma Day - The Royal College of Physicians publish a National Review of Asthma Deaths (NRAD) : Why Asthma Still kills 

The  review looked into the circumstances surrounding asthma deaths between 1st February 2012 &  30th January 2013.What stood out to me - the need to end the complacency around asthma care. Why you ask? 

Because I've been a victim of complacency twice, one mine & once by the medical profession. Having come out the other side of this I can see just how dangerous complacency can be. 

Here's my story... 

2003 my first year at secondary school I was well controlled, happy & healthy, I felt the pressures of other kids, I was doing so well and wanted to be like everyone else, I didn't want to be different. I made some bad choices & decided I didn't need my medication any more. This was Possibly the biggest mistake I've ever made. I got ill time and time again. I just assumed it was normal like other kids got ill from time to time. But I just got worse, I couldn't go to school, after two weeks at home unable to get out of bed I knew something was up but I just kept deteriorating. I missed six consecutive weeks of school, as a kid who loved school I was distraught. I just couldn't cope, eventually I restarted my medication, but getting back to where I had been beforehand was a long and very difficult process (To this day my parents still have no idea this happened, my doctors do.) 

Had I not of been complacent and thought that I was so well I didn't need my medication I could have avoided all of this. Instead I just got myself put on more medication and put myself at serious risk. 

I'd learnt my lesson, I'd got myself back on the straight and narrow and it took it's time but I got back to being well controlled on my medication again . Everything was going so well. 

2011, round two. I was out in the big wide world of work, varying high paced shifts, but I loved it! At the end of the summer season I noticed something was unusual. I just didn't feel right.

Then in September I got a cold, it ran it's course but I was still coughing, it took me a while to catch on but I was just going downhill all the time, my relievers where running out quickly, I was struggling with work. So I went to see the asthma nurse, who was fab, She went though everything, and listened to my chest for what seemed like forever. After a lot of typing up her findings, She told me I was being failed I wasn't being given the right dose or amount of preventative medication which meant my asthma wasn't being managed hence I was using way to many relievers. (exactly what the NRAD found,) She changed my preventer immediately. And reviewed a few weeks later, things improved. 

2012 - now in a full time desk job, I wasn't doing much activity so my symptoms weren't staring me in the face. I though I was doing well in myself having a few troubles at night and any exercise, I thought this was normal asthma. I couldn't seem to fit in an appointment with the asthma nurse as I was no longer on shifts, so I saw a doctor with a specialism in asthma. When I went in to see him he had read up on me and we talked right through my history from day one, he did lots of notes and tests before presenting his finding on a plate.

 My PF was not good, I had classic symptoms of poor control and he wasn't happy with my chest. I think I still feel guilty about the amount of time he must have overrun that day, but he gave me something no one else had ever done he classified my asthma. He  told me i was a moderate persistent asthmatic, and if things didn't improve he would have to refer my to a consultant specialist, because I was fast progressing to severe( I had a tendency to go off quickly when things go bad). This petrified me, even more so when he said and I quote because I remember this day like yesterday " if I was to put a camera down, right here, right now, I'm certain your lungs would be the colour of my tie (bright red!), the inflammation you have is dangerous, we need to act now, before the damage can't be reverse, this could kill you" that was the shock of my life, I knew I had a life long condition but no one had so openly said it could kill me before.

They say every cloud has a silver lining, I might live with my asthma but I found a doctor who has given me this, the right medication, a firm diagnosis, support and the confidence to ask for help, the knowledge to recognise changes and be in control.

Complacency kills, don't let it rule you!! 

Oops time flies

Sorry for the lack of posting I've been out of internet range for a while and what with everything else it's been a busy few weeks nothing special to report, I'm still keeping a diary of my eating and I've lost a couple of lb last week so I feel like I've got myself started now here's to the rest of it to come. 

Whilst I've been away I've been writing material for my blog so watch this space.....

Another few days

It's been another few busy days so I'm jotting down as I go and updating when I can !

Monday - Day 5 

Usual breakfast of cereal soy milk and blueberries 

For lunch I had a piece of slimming world quiche ( this is nothing like quicker really it's simply vegetables of your choice you can add meats it you wish, then a egg and cottage cheese mix poured over and cooked for an hour or so) with a couple of spinach leaves and some cucumber,

Dinner was homemade sheppards pie. Didn't manage my exercise today as wasn't feeling very good still.

Tuesday - Day 6 (normal routine resumes) 

Same breakfast of cereal milk and blueberries. Mid morning banana . Lunch of sw quiche (as above) and a fat free yoghurt. 

Dinner was homemad chicken stirfry 

Still can't wear any shoes so fitted in a small session of the wii fit (18 mins) 

Wednesday- Day seven (where has that gone) 

Usual cereal soy milka and blueberries. Straight throught to lunch, cup of soup, couple of seafood sticks and a fat free yoghurt, mid afternoon snack of pear. Dinner tonight was homemade quorn style (chilli basically quorn mince, mushrooms, chopped tomatoes, peppers - no yucky beans or spices!) with a very small jacket potatoe, no skin. And a sugar free jelly. 

Still unable to walk so (22 min) wii fit session tonight. 

Thursday - Day eight

Boring breakfast as usual - cereal, almond milk and blueberries. Lunch of sw quiche (as in previous days) and fat free yoghurt. Mid afternoon pear. Dinner tonight will be chicken potatoe and peas when I get in the kitchen and muster up the enthusiasm ! 

Pushed myself round for 30mins on the wii fit tonight!! New record. 

I can see I'm getting progress and making time to do some exercise everyday I'm hoping will make the difference, weight in on Sunday so let's see!! On that note kitchen here I come! 

X

2,3,4 =write off

Ok so maybe starting on Easter weekend was a bad idea, I had literally forgotten how much socialising I was meant to do this weekend and as much as you select the best options it's not always possible to stick to but today I'm back on track and tomorrow is back to normality so fingers crossed 

Day two: 

Cereal and blueberries for breakfast with soya milk . Picnic lunch(spontaneous ) carrot sticks and low fat houmus, small scoop of salad type pasta, olives, fruit sticks and 1 mini doughnut. Dinner:  fresh filled pasta with small side salad. 

Lots of walking along the beach today 

Day three 

Cereal and blueberries for breakfast with soya milk , lunch was a coffee and biscuit on the go,  for dinner I was out socialising we went to a Chinese restaurant so that wasn't a good day.

And four

One slice of wholemeal (400g so small size loaf) bread with scrambled egg - no butter.  Followed by a 40 minute fast walk ( blisters to prove it oh and plenty of shaking side effects ) Easter lunch: chicken, new potatoes and a few lettuce leaves. 

Dinner was out socialising, buffet style : so I tried to stick to salad olives, cold meats, small piece of special cheese , thin half slice of homemade bread. And a very naughty mini Easter nest 

So all in all three rather bad food days, a lot more exercise than usual. Trying much harder today hoping to be up to a wii fit session later and maybe if my blisters aren't to bad a slower pace walk this evening as I'll need to be good for work tomorrow! 

Day one

So here's goes today's attempt: most of what I'm eating now is picked from a diet plan 

Breakfast: small bowl of mini weetabix(plain) handful of blueberries and raspberries with soya milk and sprinkling of sweetner (to make it bearable) 

Snack: banana 

Lunch: salad (lettuce,tomatoe,cuecumber, pepper) with seafood sticks and quorn turkey

            Minestrone mug shot 

            Yoghurt and pudding rice 

Snack: mixed grapes 

Dinner: grilled bacon, low fat creme fraiche , onion and parsley pasta 

Treat: pink and white wafer biscuit

A very good day for day one I think, shame I couldn't fit in any exercise today but it's definatley a start, got to try hard over the weekend as I find temptation is usually greater at the weekend! 

Updates and a new direction.

Ok so here goes, things haven't been good in a while something I like to hide away even though I keep saying I want to be more open about it. So this is another fresh start, I had a routine GP appointment Monday to check on my asthma. All is going ok at the moment they are pleased with everything at the moment, my current medication seems to be working and my peak flow is returning to "good for me" my chest sounded OK! And my BP was good so all happy. But I was told I need to me put my efforts in, I need to do more exercise and loose some weight.

Both of these things are difficult for me, so I've decided my new way forward is my blog, like a name and shame type process, if I had to post what I'm doing then theres the motivation to do it not to cheat, I talked with gp about struggling with exercise , I've been told I have to monitor and learn to difference between breathlessness from my asthma and what could be breathlessness from basically being unfit, which I felt a bit harsh but hey! I his basic advise was to start small and simple and to work upwards in intensity and duration. With the more you do (and try) the easier it will become. 

So here's to the start of a new challenge and plenty of blogging of my eating and exercise, any pointers , motivation & telling off more than welcome !! 

L xx

Progress

So I made it through to another weeks swimming, I'm pleased to say I beat my number from last week. It might have been painful taken around an hour and fifteen minutes and a good few puffs of assistance but I made .............. 30!!!!!!!
Chuffed, feel like I'm getting there, just need to improve the fact that I have to stop for a few minutes after each. Still small steps.

These are lengths not laps by the way.

Mother's Day , today's a very difficult day for me. This morning I got up did some washing and headed to the supermarket, then the high street for some new mascara, little pay day treat! £4.99!!! Then to the cemetary , where I left a beautiful plant. (They stay looking nicer for longer) home for a well deserved rest and get myself something to eat :/

Another week gone!

Goals

This blogs just a short update. Things are much the same as always but at the moment I'm trying to get things back on track.

They say exercise is good for you. Exercise is good for asthma But it's a battle I've always had, exercise triggers my asthma so I've always struggled with it, added to a lack of enthusiasm but that said I do really enjoy swimming. So I've been determined to get back to it.  Costume on and I'm back in the pool , ok I have to accept I don't have the strength and ability I had before but building up is the only way forward.  I've reached what I now feel is a first stepping stone, I've managed twenty lengths of the pool (I think the pool might be 25m if anyone's interested) it takes me well over an hour to do so as I have to stop a lot but I feel like I'm making progress.

This week I hope to push on to 25 lengths, then after that I would like to improve the time it takes. All small steps

My local leisure centre is getting a big run down the changing rooms are always dirty , and the toilet facilities aren't up to much. The pool it self is still up kept very well but the temperature is not great, the wall temperature reader doesn't work so we can never tell in order to question it. It's just not ideal anymore so I'm also looking into other pools locally.

That's all for now

Catching up

No matter what, I feel like I'm always three steps behind like its a constant battle to catch up. This has always been a common theme through out my life whether as a child catching up with all the other kids in the playground (something I never mastered without ending up in the sick bay!), catching up academically from all the times I missed from school, living up to the expectations of being a teenager steps behind all my friends, at college keeping up with my work.

At the moment It's my constant tiredness that I think is fuelling the fact I feel like I'm five steps behind. There's always something that should of been done yesterday. I've always run on lists, but at the moment not even my lists are keeping me going. But where there is a will there's a way.

So an update from my last blog post, I've had a lot on and haven't been the best at sticking to being more active and losing weight but I've now set myself a goal I have a summer wedding to go to and Ive a beautiful dress I brought at the end of last summer in the sales because I simply loved it , so my goal is to get in the dress, I think this being my motivation will get me going and make me stick to it.

Blogging more . Well that went down the pan didn't it!  I'm going to keep on trying keep on top of it but as I say I'm always in catch up mode so it's rather difficult, keeping the balance but here's me starting, with another post so fingers crossed Ill add it to my list!

New Years book, I'll do a nice post about just this in a couple of days give me chance to get up to date a little! New Years aim - this one had me thinking quite a bit throwing around some ideas, but it was a decision easy made, my friend asked me if I'd do the race for life with her, this will be a huge physical challenge for me but something I'd love to do, Cancer has had an impact in both our lives and affects so many people I'd like to contribute to helping  research helping find a cure helping so that no-one else has to go through this awful battle. This also in my mind would like to be the start of me giving something back, I'd like to then go on to do more things like this if I manage it smoothly.

A catch up on me, I'm much the same as always, tiredness is my current issue, I never feel like I get enough or any good sleep, I get hit by this overwhelming tiredness mid afternoon and have to battle to get through the afternoon. I'm also a little upset at the moment, I recently had a birthday and it seems it suddenly becomes ok just to completely forget me, so called friends hey! Just gets me down that you can know someone for so long and then you move away to university, contact stops apart from visits home and birthday but now it seems ok to just forget my existence.  Shows who your real friends are.....

2014

So the start of a new year brings the standard posts on social networking etc that go something along the lines of "bye bye 2013 hello 2014"'hoping for a better year etc. etc. but for me if there is anything that life has taught me over the years it's to enjoy everything, regret nothing and treasure the memories life gives. In other words enjoy anything and everything no matter how small , one day you'll look back on those memories and they might be a big thing.

New Years resolutions? - million dollar question .......
I'm not a great believer in these as I feel it's a bit like setting yourself up to fail, maybe making decisions and giving yourself small goals and challenges, but don't overload yourself and be realistic. Last year I set myself resolutions and failed but this year I've decided to enjoy thing more and build lots of happy memories,That said I've decided to make a few and I'm going to try hard :
1. To be more active
2. To lose some weight - think this is on everyone's list but I've been told by my Dr I need to do here goes......
3. To be accepting of myself and my asthma - I often try to hide this from people because of the problems I had with other kids during my school life I worry others will react in the same or a similar way. I also need to accept, admit and face battles head on rather than shying away from the problem.
4. Blogging more!
New Years book ?
Those of you who know me will, know I start a notebook in January , I spend the month filling it with ideas and plans for my year. This gives me purpose and gives me something to focus on. When I've compiled my points, ideas and plans for the year I'll do a post on my book.

New Years aim!
This is something I started last year, I make a decision , to give, to do to raise or to complete. Last year I chose to give as I felt it was the opposite of giving up.  I made a decision that in 2013 I would give blood, I took me till July to do it, but I did it in my year, I gave twice last year and this is something I will continue to do as long as I am able to. This felt so rewarding and was a great aim. I can really honestly say it's easy and so rewarding that it's something that you can do , I recommend you do it. This year I've decided I'd like to do something and raise some money for charity. More to follow on this soon, when I've decided.

Happy New Year!!

L x